Hey Kaiso Tribe! Welcome to another post at the KGS Blog! I thought this week would be a great time to do a lifestyle post! My blog is soo brand spanking new and I haven’t even really defined it. I just kind write about what hits me that day/week or even hour! So I thought today we could commiserate. So much has been happening in my life, so much has changed. I need a moment to go through it all and reflect and plan ahead. Let’s get into it then! If you’ve read any of my previous posts you know that I recently moved back in with my parents. WITH my hubby (to be) in tow! We lived in my sister/mom’s rental property for a few months and it just wasn’t working out. It was one of those things where you get to really see who someone is, and if they would be there for you. Someone I held in high regard and had, what I thought to be, a strong relationship with, had taken such extreme actions to tear me down; and it worked.
After a very character building and emotionally trying few months, I was at an all-time low in so many ways.
For weeks, I was depressed and stayed in bed as much as possible. I stopped seeing my friends and family and couldn’t pull myself out of the pit I was thrown into. I just couldn’t believe what had and continued to happen. No amount of time could change the way she made me feel. I was angry and still kind of am. I was so hurt that someone I had spent so many hours helping out wherever, however, and whenever I could, had so easily cast me aside. It wasn’t until Jonn forced me to talk to him about it, and repeated prompting from my mother to reach out and take responsibility for the part I played, that I decided to lay it all out. I said my peace, and began the lengthy process of moving on. I forgive her, I know she hasn’t apologized and probably never will, but I really don’t need her to anymore. I will forever look back on this moment in my life and remember it as a character defining moment. It took a pretty massive betrayal for me to believe in my complete power over what my life becomes. After I moved out, I felt much better, more focused even. I was determined to make my life better, and to put myself in a position where I could truly help those I cared for so it was not easy to move back home! I know the stigma and the gossip that comes when a child moves BACK in with their parents. I know that my family doesn’t always care for Jonn, nor am I easy for them to understand. Least of all my lifestyle and choices. SO I knew going in this would be a challenge for me because I’m so prideful, and intentional in the image of Khelsea Sealy that I project! It has been in some regards harder than I thought, but also a lot smoother than I imagined!
Let me tell you, I DREADED this move y’all!
The way Jonn and I live together, and are building our life is not for everyone, and that means a lot of our family members just don’t get it. THAT’S OKAY, but it does make for a lot of justifying, a lot of explaining, and a lot of deep breaths (from me). And so that has been harder than I thought, and moving past the feeling of inadequacy, and failure has been a big enough mental hurdle! Then you toss in a sister betrayal, and the ambition to build TWO business into steady streams of income, and you get a very raw ass Khelsea! I mean some days I’m all the way together and I have timeeee for people’s B.S., other days, don’t come over here looking for no damn sugar coating. Take this tough love and get your shit in order. LMFAO! Not every day is coming up roses, but every day is a step closer to my dreams. As long as I’m moving forward, I’ll take what comes.
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